IRISH MUSINGS - MY CULTURE 5
SESSION FIVE — GROUNDING
This is a link to the ‘Principles’ tutorial video - ‘My Culture - Session 5 - Principles’
Alongside the Principes video, I have included the ‘Activation Narrative’ that is part of this session in the self-guided workbooks. The stories I tell aren’t comfortable, nor are they trauma porn. They are designed to elicit a specific response from the reader, tied to the topic our clients are working on in this session.
The Fifth Red Rule:
“It is hard to think it is ok when you are free-falling.”
― Robert (Sherpa) Millar
This activation narrative discusses mental health issues and PTSD openly. This can be triggering to some readers. You are all tier-one operators with high IQ/EQ levels. I fully expect you to be able to manage your own mental health while working through this session.
It was just before Christmas 2010 when I walked into a therapist's office in St. Louis. I was there for the holidays, visiting my wife’s family, before we got on the road in the new year for a two-month work trip. I’d been talking to a therapist for a couple of years, once a month over the phone, because the organization we worked for at the time required staff who were deployed internationally to invest in a holistic wellness program that included mental health check-ups. Cindy was my monthly health check-up for two years, and during the summer of 2009, she sat me down and carefully explained that she didn’t feel qualified to keep talking to me about my mental health. Her exact words escape me 15 years later, but the gist was that I needed to find someone who specialized in PTSD. I had begun to experience panic attacks the previous year for the first time, which was shocking to both me and those around me. Because of my early years, very little could make me afraid, so while I had a passionate and aggressive personality, I was also a great person to be around when life got stormy. Then all of a sudden, I developed a fear of flying after years of traveling around the world and loving flying. I became risk-averse and stopped going into the mountains. Cindy believed it was PTSD, finally manifesting, and I needed to get help before it got worse.
That day in late December 2010 began a 14-year journey into PTSD therapy. It was brutal, painful, and terrifying. But it also set me free, and now offers me a life without the ticking time bomb of untreated PTSD waiting to rob me of my family and a productive life. I doubt any of you who have worked through the narratives of these programs are shocked to discover I suffered from PTSD.
I’ve always been a fighter, unwilling to accept the limits set by others, and willing to fight for that right to do what I feel is right with anyone who decided they could impose limits upon me. That mindset has been immeasurably helpful in getting me beyond my origin story and giving me the passion to chase wildly unrealistic dreams to their successful conclusion. But the challenge to find my footing in the long, dark road of trauma recovery changed how I walked through life. I am now far more grounded. I’m still aggressively competitive, but there is now a calmer layer around that competition. I can feel ok.
In the next post, we'll explore the introduction to tension between navigating crises through the tension of Complexity and Simplicity. This will introduce you to My Life, the third of our core programs for My Success.
— Robert (Sherpa) Millar