IRISH MUSINGS - MY CULTURE 0
MY CULTURE — THE RED CONFLICT
This is a link to the ‘Principles’ tutorial video - ‘My Culture - An Introduction.’
Alongside the Principes video, I have included the ‘Activation Narrative’ that is part of this session in the self-guided workbooks. The stories I tell aren’t comfortable, nor are they trauma porn. They are designed to elicit a specific response from the reader, tied to the topic our clients are working on in this session.
All of our programs operate within a metaphor. This is part of the initial activation methodology. My Culture, the metaphor is centered on traveling between two paradoxical locations. Through five sessions, you'll learn to navigate between the Extrinsic and Intrinsic Home-mindsets. This capacity to travel to the ‘other’ gives you the power to negotiate conflict. This isn't about choosing between an Extrinsic or Intrinsic mindset—it's about embodying both simultaneously, in every negotiation you face.
NEGOTIATING INSTINCTIVE CONFLICT
My Culture is the second of three programs in My Success, expanding your awareness to see what's coming and counter blind reactions. Organizations demand performance. Humans need health. Most leaders sacrifice one for the other, never recognizing they're negotiating with a paradox, not solving a problem.
You already balance this tension instinctively. The question is, can you do it intentionally?
The paradox of Performer vs Person - Home-mindsets - Doing ↔ Being
Embodying Vulnerability - E.V. - Isolation ↔ Connection
Embodying Imperfection - Monster Truck - Evaluation ↔ Safety
Embodying Delight - Clown Car - Recognition ↔ Creativity
Embodying Grounding - Subaru - Competition ↔ Stability
These aren't opposing forces to reconcile. They're permanent tensions to navigate. Most leaders oscillate between them, depending on the environment. You're about to learn to hold both simultaneously—and lead from that center point.
The Red Zone: notice the color. Red runs through all the material—banners, borders, every visual element. In My Leadership, you worked with yellow, the color of choice. Now we're in red, the color of conflict. This is how you instinctively handle conflict. You have subconscious categories that determine how you negotiate with others. The problem is that conflict often arises unintentionally because you do not know how to locate and relate to the Other.
We inhabit paradoxical places, and we do not share the same values. We admit we do not understand each other. And that's where the conflict lives.
Performer or Person: You Can't Be Both
Many paradoxes cause conflict, but we're starting with one that's both safe and professional: the distinction between extrinsic and intrinsic orientation.
Some of us really value intrinsic. This is about being a healthy person, achieving well-being. This is the Person who values Connection, Safety, Creativity, and Stability—the intrinsic sequence. The rest of us—and I'm one of them—really value extrinsic. This is about being a successful Performer, achieving success through organized effort. We value Isolation, Evaluation, Recognition, and Competition—the extrinsic sequence. You're not ambidextrous. You live in one place. You have a home mindset. At best, you can travel to meet and connect with others. You won't find peace. You won't make converts. But you can negotiate a ceasefire. If you're phenomenally talented, you can create a demilitarized zone where you refrain from launching attacks against the Other. This is about the ceasefire. At best, a demilitarized zone. It's not about peace what you’re building. The ideas in this program surface the conflict you already live with daily. They replicate the stimulus-and-reflection rhythm of our live programs, allowing you to experience the tension before analyzing it. This is not training. It's calibration. The outcome isn't balance—it's the ability to stay upright under fire. What you're building: The discipline to see another's point of view while retaining a firm grip on your own. The capacity to cross red lines without losing yourself.
We're going to dig deep into the red zone of conflict and learn how to negotiate with the Other.
In the next post, we'll explore the two locations that create the paradox of Performer vs Person – we will visit both Home-mindsets, one focused on Doing, the other Being.
— Robert (Sherpa) Millar